The Third Dance with Vulnerability
In order to truly be vulnerable, you have to be OK with being yourself. You have to be OK with the person looking back at you in the mirror. If you’re not happy with what you see looking back at you, you will never be able to see what’s in front of you. When you dance with Vulnerability you have to be the one to ask them to dance but accept it when they take the lead. There’s no easy way around it.
It’s an amazingly, unbelievable experience when you strip yourself down and be completely and fully exposed to those closest around you. The only true freedom we have is the freedom to be ourselves; to be vulnerable means to allow yourself to be you. We’re never taught that we’re enough, we’re only taught that we could be better. Dancing with Vulnerability helps you understand that. It taught me, that I can be me, the real me. I can be the man that cries when he’s overcome with happiness, and I can be the man that cries when he’s overcome with sadness. But it’s more than just crying, it’s about being honest when you are being present. By just being present, you allow yourself to be vulnerable in a profound way. There’s no chance for you to second guess and hide those raw, authentic emotions. Being vulnerable also allows you the chance to be gentle with yourself in that you have more compassion and empathy with your inner life.
Don’t get me wrong, learning how to be vulnerable is one of the most intimidating things that anyone could ever do. It’s a learned skill that’s not always taught the right way. It’s teachings border on the line of fair and unfair, for there’s so much pressure from the outside world. When we’re born, we’re first taught to either play our cards close to our chest or open the flood gates and unleash a wave of emotions. We are trained to wear our masks. Some people wear multiple masks for multiple days, until one day they have no idea who they’re looking at in the mirror.
Society tells us that we all have to wear our masks whether we want to or not. Social media is filled with people that don’t know how to be vulnerable. They portray their fake lives for fake people under fake circumstances. They never truly understand the meaning of life and what it’s really about. They ultimately become addicted to these imaginary lives and worlds they’ve created. There’s no division between what’s real and what’s not, everything is just blurred, and they are clueless to it all.
When you decide to become vulnerable you are forced to let your guard down and that’s a scary thing. No one wants to let their guard down, be left alone with their walls, their defenses in shambles. I think the best status an adult can achieve in life, is to be vulnerable. Children don’t know how to be vulnerable they just live that way of life. It’s not a choice for them. But when we become older and we’ve gone through what some of this world offers we decide to protect ourselves from it. When you’re a child you have all the wonderment of the world right in front of you. You’re not necessarily scared because you don’t know what scared is. You might be scared at the moment, but the feeling is fleeting. Children are born into vulnerability, but adults must learn vulnerability because their prejudices and their insecurities and their fears prevent them from truly being who they need to be. They are seemingly transformed into the children they think they are superior to.
Vulnerability is something that men tend to scoff at. They make fun of Vulnerability. They say that you can’t be vulnerable if you’re a man. They say that real men don’t show emotion, that they don’t cry. We’ve been conditioned to think that’s somehow feminine to express your feelings. I think most men are jealous at those of us who are emotionally aware. I think most men suffer from emotional imposter syndrome.
To be a man is to be vulnerable. To be human is to be vulnerable. To be alive is to be vulnerable and anything less is emotional death.
